You’re Not Failing. You’re in a Transition.

Why that job you once loved might suddenly feel impossible — and what to do next.

Apr 10, 2025

Hi friends,

When I had my first baby, I thought I was prepared for the transition.

I had the gear. I had the plan. I had a job I loved.
What I didn’t have was any context for why I suddenly wanted to quit every other day — even though I loved my work, my team, and what I was building.

Yesterday’s Both& session with Dr. Anne Welsh made me wish I had her in my corner (and on my speed dial) back then.

Whether you’re:

Pregnant and wondering what’s coming,
Back at work and wondering why it feels so hard,
Or years into parenting and still feeling like something’s off...

This session was for you. And this recap is, too.

Catch the full recording here. Skim below for the best takeaways of our hour together.

What am I doing with my career?

Anne hears this constantly. But what’s behind it?

“I’m overwhelmed. I’m failing. I miss my baby... or myself.”
“I love both — but I don’t know how to do both.”

She shared that behind the burnout, guilt, and questions is something called matrescence (and patrescence for dads) — a neurological, emotional, and social identity shift as big as adolescence... but with way less support.

“It’s not just ‘mom brain.’ It’s your nervous system
trying to find safety in an entirely new identity.”

So we explored five areas to help navigate this shift:

1. Get honest: What’s actually not working?

Before you make a big move — quit, shift, or step away — pause and name what’s driving the discomfort.

Is it:

The job itself?
The people or team?
The hours or commute?
The mental load you’re carrying at home?
The actual tasks?

“If you don’t name it, you can’t change it.
These insights become your roadmap — not just your complaints.”

2. Dream first. Add constraints later.

Once you’ve identified what’s not working, don't rush to “solve” it. Start by getting curious.

Anne shared a few different ways to dream:

Bottom-Up – What tasks actually bring me energy?
Top-Down – What jobs sound exciting when I read about them?
Looking Back – What did I used to love before life got louder?
No Limits – What would I choose if nothing stood in the way?

“Don’t start with ‘I can’t.’
Start with what you want. You can edit down from there.”

3. Try one of Anne’s grounding exercises

Here are a few that sparked ah-ha moments during the webinar:

Rocking Chair Exercise:
Imagine you're 90, looking back.
What will you be proud that you spent your time doing? What memories will bring you a sense of job, accomplishment, meaning or alignment? What feels like it was “true to you?”
Breadcrumbs of Joy:
Track small moments when you feel calm, energized, or present.
They’re clues to your direction.
Career Visioning (we did this live - full exercise here!):
Picture a workday in your life five years from now.
What time do you wake up?
Where do you work?
What are you doing?

“These questions bypass your inner critic and give your real wants a microphone.”

If you try one this week, I’d love to hear what came up for you.

Reply or comment — what surprised you?

4. The Fulfillment Audit

Anne calls these the six pillars of sustainable working parenthood. Write them down. Rank yourself 1–10. Then ask: What would help me move this higher?

Boundaries
Bandwidth
Joy
Self-Compassion
Connection
Self-Trust

“This is how you measure alignment — not your title or income, but how you feel in your skin.”

5. Redefining ambition

Anne reminded us that ambition doesn’t disappear after kids — but it does evolve.

“Ambition isn’t a ladder — it’s a web.
You can be ambitious for time, peace, creativity, or connection.”
“You’re not falling off the ladder — you’re just choosing a different direction.”
We were sold a linear path. But your career can evolve alongside your life.”
That’s not failure. That’s growth.

Feedback

If you attended, we’d love to know what you thought of the session in this quick survey.

Want more of Anne?

If this resonated, follow her, work with her, bring her into your orbit - she is brilliant!!!:

VISIT: drannewelsh.com
WRITE: drannewelsh@gmail.com
CONNECT: linkedin.com/in/drannewelsh
FOLLOW: @drannewelsh

Coming up at Both&

This was just the beginning. Upcoming topics include:

How to actually find flexible or part-time roles (and advocate for them internally)
Tools to offload the mental load — without guilt
A Dad Panel!!
More career clarity workshops

Have a topic request? Just reply to this note. I’m listening.

Tell me — what resonated most?

What part of this session (or recap) felt true to your experience?

Was it naming the problem?
Hearing about matrescence?
Trying the visualization?
Realizing your ambition isn’t gone — just different?

Reply or comment. I’d love to hear. Let’s keep the conversation going.

And if no one told you this today:
You’re not behind. You’re evolving.
You’re doing great.
You deserve to want more — and take your time figuring it out.

Parenting right alongside you,
Kaleana

Both&